About Me

I just wanted to give a little insight about me. I'm not sure who or even if anyone will read this. I needed to start some sort of journal before i go crazy.... :)

I have been happily Married to the love of my Life since March of 2oo1. Wes is the most passionate, caring person anyone could ever ask for.

My main reason for doing this blog is to share some of my heartaches that Wes and I both have shared for many years now.

We have been trying our whole marriage(and honestly even before then) from the beginning to conceive a child. Nothing yet. We can't imagine nothing more pleasant and rewarding as being parents. We did start seeing a fertility doctor in May which confirmed its my

PCOS

Polycystic (pah-lee-SIS-tik) ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to have children, hormones, heart, blood vessels, and appearance. With PCOS, women typically have:
high levels of androgens (AN-druh-junz). These are sometimes called male hormones, although females also make them.
missed or irregular periods
many small cysts (sists) in their ovaries. Cysts are fluid-filled sacs.

This has played a huge affect on our everyday lives. Its hard knowing its me that is preventing us from having a baby... I can't imagine not giving my Husband a child. I feel a lot of pressure on me. Wes has said a hundred times he will love me and support me no matter what the out come will be... Will I want that? Is that fair to him? Does he deserve this? I'm taking my days in strives. Living daily the best I can. Its extremely hard seeing most of my friends with there babies My Sister and Brothers with theirs, I know I'm not suppose to question God and I know I have no right too, but I do. I know he has a plan for us. I just can't imagine it being anything other than having a family. One way or another. I feel we can give sooo much love to a child. Whether we give birth naturally or not up most and for most we want to be parents.

3 months ago my wonderful doctor started me on Clomid (used to stimulate ovulation in women who may not be ovulating or may have a luteal phase defect) so far this is not working they are upping my dosage next month. When the doctors office called today to tell me it didn't make me ovulate again.. I cried I was really praying that i would at least react somehow to this.

Of coarse I didn't. Well the first person i naturally called was Wes i was crying when i was telling him what that doctor had said . He naturally calmed me down like he always does.

I just don't know what i would do without him and a few other of my GREAT friends that always listens and just lets me cry. I have plenty more to write, but I better get in bed for now.... :)